THE COMPASSIONATE MAN PROJECT
Compassionate Communication for Men
Why a communications workshop for men?
If you've found your way here, you're probably curious about why I would set up a workshop just for men.
Here are a few factors which contributed to the creation of this workshop and support:
My own experience of being in relationship with my intimate partner and getting it completely wrong. As hard as I tried, analysed and dissected what I was doing, (and I'm a reasonably intelligent guy), I just couldn't work out how to maintain a connection with my partner (and this was after years of doing other personal development work). The only conclusion I could come to was that there was something wrong with me or just that I would never be enough for my partner.
I learned that spending time in the company of men is truly a valuable way to help build muscle...not the physical muscle, but the emotional muscle required to stay true to my course, feel self-connected and present to my partner when things got difficult. I had an experience a few days ago where I made a mistake (I locked her keys in her car - on a hot day) and my partner went off at me, and called me every name she could think of. Frankly, I was amazed at how I was able to listen, add a few names myself and then join in the laughter as she saw the funny side of it...eventually :-)
My experience of being with men who are willing to share at a deep level has been extraordinary. I so value hearing men share themselves intimately - sometimes sharing their deepest pain and the shame of things they have done. It is my highest priority that men value being heard by other men, without judgment, and when they feel totally safe, to express what is going on for them. I sense that being able to share in this way contributes to healing and re-shaping the stories that define us, so we can feel whole and more confident as a man, more able to be proud of our vulnerability and find a masculine strength in that.
For the last four years, I have presented a two-hour workshop to large groups of men at the men’s festival called Menergy, and this year at the Manshine event. In doing that, I’ve learned that men often struggle with their relationships but don’t know where to turn for support. I know that a two-hour workshop is not enough. This Project is about offering on-going support to men who may have tasted the quality of this work and want more.
In 2016, I was approached by a leader in the Mankind Project (MKP) and asked if I'd be willing to run a program in Compassionate Communication - for men in the Victorian Chapter. I created a workshop called "Compassionate Leadership" that incorporated Compassionate Communication. It was clear from that experience that men loved the safe space and sense of intimacy they felt with each other in participating in learning the core skills there. The space we created together offered a very healing space for the men.
I wanted to create a workshop where men could feel fully supported in their journey to develop their capacity to have amazing, intimate relationships with their partners. My longing is to contribute to the fostering of fulfilling, enriched, alive and dynamic relationships between men and their partners.
If you want this for yourself, I urge you to hop on board and sign up.
The group will be limited to 12 men - I'd love to see you there.
If you feel moved, click below to sign up now.
A huge debt of gratitude for the insights I gained into a whole new level of creating & sustaining
meaningful connections. I thought I had most of the pieces I needed for my life to work, heading
into the weekend with Alistair. I soon learnt that I often fail to put them together all that well in
the realm of having deep connections with loved ones. It was humbling and delightful to learn to
reframe my communications in a manner that honours my needs while fully acknowledging the
needs of others. Thank you, Alistair, for the powerful distinctions you shared over two days.
Choosing to stay curious inside a breakdown in communication will remain with me
till the end of my days.