It can be confusing when others don't behave as we expect them to. Whether it's an intimate partner, a child, a parent, or a work colleague.
To be honest, I didn't understand my own behaviour in relation to my intimate partner. For years I thought I was offering understanding, connection and love and yet when conflict came along, I'd run for the hills, pull the shutters down and pretend no one was inside. No wonder my partner became extremely upset. Meanwhile I would protest my innocence. Not pretty and I'm not proud of it.
Now I know that my behaviour is driven by my needs. When I really got that, everything changed. I got connected to what was important to me, learned how to speak up in the face of conflict, took responsibility for my emotional responsiveness and learned how to love my partner just as she is.
I'm guessing there are some of you who might be interested in knowing more or learning about how awareness of your needs can support you to have loving relationships. If you'd like to know more, take a look at my next upcoming NVC Foundation Training workshop here in Byron Bay or Melbourne.